Passions Pissed part 3: Gay Chad

This story line is actually one of the lesser offenses, in fact it’s not a problem at all, but I just wanted to write about it.

As soon as Chad and Whitney discovered that they weren’t brother and sister, Chad was revealed to be having an affair. I mean, like a week later. It really put me off that after insisting for YEARS that they could be together somehow, Chad goes and gets a mistress as soon as he is able. I thought that they should have let the couple baste in their nuptial bliss for a little while before having more drama thrown at them. There was some major trauma suffered by Whitney when she thought she had been impregnated by her brother, so much that she joined a convent and began whipping herself. While it is the nature of a soap opera to keep its characters in constant misery, the misfortune of a cheating husband would have been more effective if the relationship was allowed to solidify. But, seeing as how the show doesn’t have much longer to go, I suppose it’s for the best after all.

When it was revealed that Chad was having an affair, his lover was never shown on screen. I never considered it to be a homosexual relationship until much later when they showed just the body of the person in heavily layered clothing and gloves, from the neck down of course. That’s when I suspected it was a dude, as well as which dude on the show it was. Because I work while the show is on, and have been otherwise occupied on my days off (my man, my drinks, my comics), it wasn’t until my rather slow mind realized that I could watch the episodes online that I saw the relationship between Chad and Vincent in full swing.

What I like about this story and these characters is that no one is holding back. The characters don’t hint at things, they discuss everything matter-of-factly even if they are having the love vs. sex argument all the time. And the show has not shied away from showing them in the throws of passion, which Vincent has, of course, videotaped. While nothing on this show is ever realistic, this is still one of the best gay story lines on a soap opera I’ve seen. I do have a question, though…
Why are all the gay people on Passions black?
Next: The Death of Beth-Everybody loves crazy

I promise to write about something else, soon. Probably something about the viaduct.

Passions Pissed part 1

It's true, it's true. Passions, a show that I have watched since it first aired in the summer of 1999, has been cancelled. I was there before Ethan and Theresa even met, and the wacky/stalker circumstances that led to their meeting. I saw Tabitha crate a living doll that she would use to destroy the Bennett Family. I watched when Alistair Crane was a Dr. Claw-like disembodied hand. I saw a house sucked into hell, a girl with untapped superpowers be replaced by a succubus for nearly six months, four actresses play Kay, three play Alistair, and two play Gwen. Needless to say, while I kinda hate Passions (I guess that's called a guilty pleasure, although I'm not guilty about it), I am very sad that it's going. I'm mostly sad because it didn't have to happen. Well, maybe. I don't know if better writing could have saved viewers, but there is no doubt that the stories and dialogue over the past few years has been fairly atrocious.
It's late, so I can't do this all now, but what I'm going to do is explain what is wrong with the current storylines. What athourity am I to do such a thing? Why, I'm an american with the internet.
Next: Kay/Miguel/Fox...The least energetic love triangle ever.

Soaps02/08/07:Passions-The good with the bad

The stupidest thing about today's episode of Passions was the product placement for KY 2in1 Tingling massage liquid. Theresa was having a FANTASY about Ethan and in that fantasy, they pitched the massage/lubricant to the viewer. My immediate reaction to this kind of advertisment is a bad one, but when I think about it I guess it's not so bad. I mean, wasn't Jack Benny selling Lucky Strike cigarettes on his show back in the 50's? It's TV history.

Even if the K-Y thing was to be viewed in a negative light, it is made up for by the guest appearence by the Scissor Sisters . I'm not a big SS fan, in fact I've only heard the song Filthy Gorgeous. Their performance on Passions was really good, though, if only because it was a live performance. No lip synching! And they get to act a little bit. Since Endora conjured them up, they are confused and get mad at the witches. I especially like how they are about to beat up and old lady and an infant. Rad.

Plot-wise, I'm liking the fake Charity. Julian has hired a blonde to wear a mask and pretend to be Charity. I always like dual personalities as a plot device. Posing as someone else isn't as cool as evil twins, though. I have an evil twin. His name's Ted.

Soaps:2/05/07- All My Children acusations

So some guy grabs Kendal's arm and all of a sudden, just like with Zarf/Zowie, every one in town is in the room and ready to beat the shit out of this guy because he is clearly the serial killer they are looking for. They bully him and yell at him, forgetting that every time they do this...they are wrong.

1-30-07: AMC- Dixie's Dead

She’s the Jean Grey of the All My Children world. That’s right, folks. Dixie Cooney is dead. Again. Unlike last time when she died off screen, this time around we see everyone paying respects to the body lying in the hospital as well as showing her as a ghost.. Anytime a major character dies in a comic book or soap opera all I think about is how they are going to come back, feeling that their death is a cheap ploy to unimaginatively develop some plot. When Marlena died on Days a few years ago and they even showed her being embalmed. I was irate when she and everyone she killed ended up on a poorly explained island. Now I’m wondering how they will explain the return of Dixie, when it happens and I’m sure it will. I’m also wondering if she will help solve the murders post mortem they way Gillian did when she died back in the day. It should be noted that Gillian never came back from the dead.

Within the last month: Days' Stephaine

At some point while I didn't have the internet, Stephanie, the daughter of Steve and Kayla, was written off the show. I don't know why, although I'm sure I could look it up. I really liked her. She was by no means ugly, but she wasn't "soap opera pretty." Now she's off to Daytona or something, what with her being a racecar driver. That's pretty cool, too.

2-1-07: Passions- product placement

Passions just came on and within 10 seconds of the first shot we get a full blown advertisment for the new movie "Because I Said So."Jessica says "Why don't we go see that new Diane Keaton movie?" Paloma excitedly says that she had wanted to see it, too, right before she unfolds a newspaper with a full page ad for the movie and states the title of it aloud.

1/8/2007-Days' Good cop/Bad cop

Bo and steve went to harass a social worker about Sean and Belle's baby Claire. Victor is claiming they are bad parents and has taken the kid. Bo gets all mad at the social worker and Steve calms him down and says "I'll handle this." He's nice at first, then starts getting mad and then Bo calms him down and says "I'll handle this." Which is the good cop? Which is the bad cop? Get it straight folks.

1/04/07-AMC: convenient story

>Wow, it's been a long time since I posted! I hate everything.nyway, a couple of days ago on AMC a rock star told Bianca that he was a woman on the inside but a lesbian woman and he's in love with her. I've seen MTF transexuals who dig chicks, it happens. Bianca, however, is blown away by this and thinks he's lying to bag her.
So Bianca's all pissed and goes to a New Year's eve party and runs into an old lesbo friend of hers (not one we ever saw on screen) and  while they're drinking and flirting the friend tells a story about a mutual friend of theirs who's partner became a man and the chick freaked and left him/her. She just happened to have a story that related to the drama Bianca was involved in like an hour earlier? Lame.
Man, I need to watch Passions to find something a little more valid in terms of things that piss me off. This one was a stretch.

12/20/2006:All My Children-Erin's dead?!

Since I work a lot I don't get to see my stories everyday and when I do there's stuff that I missed. A couple of weeks ago I tuned in to find out that Simone was dead! I was pretty angry because it didn't seem like there was a good reason for it, and I liked the way the actress portrayed being drunk. Today, I find out that the steaming hot redhead Erin Lavery is also dead now! What the fuck is going on? What next, is Bianca going to bite the dust? Why don't they kill off some more stupid characters like that Sean kid who came out of nowhere or ANY of the Chandlers.

12/19/2006: Days of Our Lives: E.J.Wells

It has been revealed that the true identity of E.J. Wells is that of Little Elvis Banks/Dimera, the child that Stephano Dimera had with Susan Banks. The baby was born in 1997, making him 9 years old. I know that it's common for soap operas to skip a lot of years to make children older, and therefore usable characters, but this is a huge stretch. He was born AFTER Belle Black but is now older than her. ARGH!

12/14/06: Passions-Fancy

 Over the last few months Luis has been dating Fancy Crane, neice of his former love Sheridan Crane. What I hated about the relationship Luis had with Sheridan was that she was ALWAYS in trouble...getting in car crashes or trapped in a pit or something. I got SO sick of hearing her cry for help. Now she's married to someone else and Luis has started up with Fancy who joined the police force. I thought that since she was going to be a cop she'd be tougher, but last week she just got out of a pit herself.
TODAY: A man in a ski mask is watching her in her window. He has a knife. Great, Fancy proves to be another blonde damsel in serial distress.