My Neuroses

One of the definitions for neurosis at Dictionary.com is:
a relatively mild personality disorder typified by excessive anxiety or indecision and a degree of social or interpersonal maladjustment
Yup. That's me.
I have a lot of trouble making decisions, comfortably talking to people, and I think I'm a little afraid of just about everything. My trouble making decisions leads to a kind of lethargy; you know, I can't decide what to do so I don't do anything. This is a big part of why I didn't finish college, or even make any headway when I did try to go. Is it also because I'm lazy? Probably.
What is it about making a decision that causes me to freeze like a deer caught in the headlights? Am I afraid of making the wrong decision? Is it that I don't want to put any effort into thoroughly thinking out any major decisions like changing jobs, moving, or going back to school? I think I've done okay so far. I moved from California to Seattle, far away from my family and my best friend wich was probably one of the biggest decisions I've made in my life. And it was a good decision, one for wich I have absolutley no regrets.
That move took a lot of balls, but I think it's just because I hit a breaking point; I couldn't stand where I was living anymore and leaving California all together seemed like a really good idea. That was a change in my life that practically made itself for me.
Something like changing jobs is a little different for me. This is where both the fear of everything and my discomfort with interpersonal communicating comes into play. Job searching requires me to be able to sell myself to a potential employer. For me to do that I would not only want the job I would also have to have enough faith in myself to do that job. As it goes now I feel that I wouldn't fare very well in finding a job that wasn't in customer service. Not just any customer service, but the kind where anyone can walk into your place of buisness and you have to do whatever they want, ie: retail, grocery, restaurant. Shit, I can't even do a restaurant. This wouldn't be much of a change from what I'm doing now so I don't really see a point in making the change. The job I have now isn't that bad aside from having absolutley no control over who I have to deal with at any random point of any day. For instance, I now live in fear that that crazy lady from the previous posts will drop in at any time.
And what is it about talking to people all day that makes me so uncomfortable? I don't know...I just have this image in my mind of all the people I've come into contact with throughout the day gathering together when I finally go to sleep and discussing what a horrible person I am, all the stupid things I said, and how wrong I did everything.
I don't know why I'm writing all this. Certainly not for pity. I'm just trying to state matter-of-factly how I feel, even if I know I'm dead wrong. Not only can I not think of anybody who doesn't like me, I know there are lots of people out there who like me a lot even though they shouldn't. Oh my god, do I not like people because I don't like myself? Wait, no...I think I'm awesome.
Anyway, as the defention above said, it's a "realativley mild" condition and I'm always trying to overcome it. Writing it all down probably helps me evaluate the situation.