snoop opera

Today's episode of One Life To Live had a couple of reasons as to why it's the best (daytime) soap opera ever. Passions will always be my favorite but there's no denying that OLTL is better.

Reason #1: Shamelessly lazy writing

All soaps have lazy writing, it's a definitive characteristic. OLTL takes it past the typical repetition and formula. For instance a character introduced in the early nineties was portrayed by an Asian-American actress. The character left the show and came back as a blond with a southern accent. I don't think they even bothered to explain it. How could you? Today's episode touched on another unexplainable occurrence in Llanview.

Quick back story: Years ago Todd's sons are kidnapped and taken to an island. He and Tea go to the island and rescue them, but Todd abandons her there not knowing she is preggers with his baby. Years later, Tea reveals the daughter she had with Todd. So, the daughter should be younger than the sons that were kidnapped, right? Nope, she's in high school, but the oldest son is only 10 years old. The poor girl is a victim of a phenomenon known as Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome. I noticed it when she was introduced a few months ago, but until now I thought I was the only one. Today, the son, Jack, meets his sister, Dani, for the first time. Here's how it went:

Jack: You're my sister?

Dani: Who were you expecting, Taylor Swift?

Jack: But you're, like, old.

Dani: What does that, like, mean?

Jack: I overheard my mom and dad talking, that Tea and my dad had a kid. So I figured you'll be my little sister. I thought you'd be, like, eight or nine.

Dani: Well I'm, like, not.

Jack: That makes no sense.

Dani: Get over it.

That's it! That's all she wrote. The rules of time and space were bent to the will of these people and that's the only explanation we get. I think I like it because they at least mention the paradox, and it's done so quickly and quietly. With all the mundane crap dialogue soaps have, you tune a lot of it out and it would be easy to miss a little wink like that.

Reason #2: Snoop Dogg is from there.

Snoop likes to stop by the show once in a while. With all the time they saved with the lazy writing, they concocted this back story for him where he grew up there and was on a TV show there and is best buds with the police commissioner.