Back sooner than I thought

But, like I said, I may just want to share my birthday presents with you.
I got emails from my mom and dad, one from each, a call from my best friend in California, and from my sister. I bought myself beer tonight after work, but when I got home, my roommate Cesar had already put a 6er of Weinhard's PR in the fridge for me. MY mom also put a little money into a bank acount thats about to close. I'll probably use that to buy some awesome custom Vans, since they don't have the normal shoes I want in my size.
Jeremy was nice enough to spend some time with me this morning, and naturally bring me presents. One gift I was kind of expecting was a new flatbed scanner. My old one died last summer and I've wanted one ever since. It works like a peach! Or it is a peach. Whatever. Here's a scan of a drawing that I had to take a photo of for a previous post:


He also got me what he said was sort of a gag gift. We had discussed this show before. Are you ready?...

That's right! The first season of Maude. Silly boy ought to know by now, I take classic television very seriously, or at least wouldn't consider it a gag. An old roommate told me he had never seen me as excited as when the first season of the Brady Bunch came out on DVD.
The most unexpected gift came from the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. The had a feature article on men's underpants.

Granted, I find outrageous underpants like this to be silly (with their crazy designs), creepy (when they look like little kid's underwear), and retarded (when I see how much they cost)but nonetheless...it's a feature on men's underwear.
So, yeah, cool birthday.
Later, dudes.

26 = less blogging

I haven't written in a while. I don't know why, just haven't felt like it. I've been a little preoccupied. Nothing big, just normal stuff people deal with. I have a job that I hate, but my overly-practical nature tells me to stay there for financial reasons. I can save money for school, my car, and moving if need be. I'm also trying to strengthen my relationships, trying to be a half-way decent friend, brother, son, boyfriend, Washington state resident and, oddly enough, employee. With my 26th birthday approaching I'm thinking that these things are a result of getting older. I'm geting to the point where I need to map out my life to come and it's leaving me, at times, exhausted. Or maybe I'm just thinking too much. My brain keeps doing that thing lately where it won't SHUT UP and I keep thinking the same things over and over, much like someone with OCD repeatedly locks and unlocks a door. So, If I don't post as much and the 2-4 people who read this take any notice, that's probably why.

Who knows, though...exciting stuff may occur that I just can't help but share...like kick-ass birthday presents!

Thanks, baby!

Speaking of my birthday, I'm celebrating on Thursday. I'm going to an Elf Power show at The Crocodile. It'll be hit-or-miss, but whatever, right? If you think I'm awesome, you should go and say hi to me.

He is Risen!

I had a pretty cool Easter this year, but I think that's just because Easter happened to fall on a pretty cool weekend for me.

On Saturday, I was noticably depressed at work for, once again, no reason at all. After work I met the guy at Neumo's where DJ Heather was playing (do DJs "play"?). I was with him earlier in the day and could tell that he was excited to see her and go out and dance. By the time I got there I wasn't depressed anymore, got a drink or two, and started feeling the music. Jeremy and his friend Bill both said the opening DJ wasn't as good as DJ Heather. I couldn't tell. I don't know good house music from bad house music.

I had a few more drinks and met some of Jeremy's dancing friends, but there were two other things I did that were really unexpected. First off, I went into the men's room which was rather crowded a was able to pee...with the stall door open (I thought at first it didn't have one)! Huge breakthrough for me. The other thing was I danced my heart out, and had fun doing it. I'm not all hella into dancing now or anything, but for the first time I didn't feel I had to force it OR get incredibly wasted. I only got adequetly wasted, but that would have happened without dancing. I also dance a lot better when I have a drink in one hand.

Hopped a cab back with a driver named Moses who, while J$ was in 7-11, I had no problem conversing with.

Cut to Easter morning:
The day started great, plus I didn't even have a hangover! I was bummed that the sun was out. I went to work and made more money(I think) because Jesus was resurrected today. And then it got gray. The clouds came in and the sun went away and I was as happy as a pig in slops. A couple of times, after it started raining but before it got dark,I went outside. I decided that this was some of the best rain I had seen in a long time. It wasn't cold or stormy, the rain was steady and fell straight down, and it wasn't too hard or light. It was perfect, like a refreshing shower.

So with the exception of having to be at work this easter, I was in elated-ish spirits.

Amen.

I've been too harsh

Maybe I'm getting soft in my old age, but I've realized that there are some things that I always said I hated that I don't really hate. Mostly, I'm just indeifferent to them. Here are some:

Jim Carrey- I really did hate him when he was just playing the same annoying character over and over. However, when put into a decent role, he's not that bad of an actor. Well, my only reference for that is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, but it still shows his potential.

Will Farrel See above. Although I don't see an end to his stupid movies any time soon, so I will remain indifferent.

Steely Dan I think when I was young, like eighth grade, someone said they sucked and it remained engrained in my mind ever since. They're actually not that bad, at least not bad enough to hate, and their bass is sweet.

Bruce Vilanch He once said that he thinks straight actors playing gay men is as bad as blackface. He then went on to portray Edna Turnblad in the Hairspray Broadway musical, a gay man playing a straight woman. This seemed hypocritical to me. Still, I can't honestly say that I know enough about Mr. Vilanch or his ideology to say that I hate him. In fact, I think this blurb reports EVERYTHING I do know about him, except he was on Hollywood Squares a lot.

When I think of more things I don't actually hate, I'll post them. Children will NOT be on that list.

Passions

It's finally getting better.

Cut-A-Mofo Wednesday

I picked a weekly-theme thing and a day for it for my blog. Actually, it picked me.
I'm a non-violent person, at least when it comes to other people, but let's face it, some people need to be cut.
This week, it was those bastards I work with who want me to cash their checks every payday. I repeatedly tell them "No," but they have become immune to this and pester me until I finally give in so they will leave me alone. I have neither the time or money (the tills don't anyway) to do this for them. Tonight I left work 15 minutes late, no thanks to them.
Next time I work (didnt have time tonight!) I shall post a declaration. I, personally, will not cash any checks for any employees at all, no matter who they are or what they do. We are not a bank.
The guys who pissed me off tonight were in high school. What's a teenager need $170 for on a school night? (yes, i know that sounds rediculous, but please realize, i think i was born 40 years old)

it started innocently enough

I got home from work today and was just gonna do laundry, watch a movie, and drink the two beers I had left over from my weekend.(I cant believe im still up to write this) I ended up getting into the Pear Absolut vodka I purchased on thirst-day after a heinous experience at the DMV. While my last load was in the dryer, I decided to take a walk with those two beers into a nearby park, the depths of which I accidentally discovered last night.
I was reading the latest issue of Wonder Woman, and it slipped into the cracks of my porch, and I had to crawl under to get it. After that, I got my MP3 player that I had just refreshed today, and walked into the night.
As I walked into the park, I was aware only of the music, finishing my first beer and throwing th bottle into a nearby garbage can. Mind you, it's prabably about 1:30 AM. I go up a trail and stand under a tree with drooping branches. I made sure before going under there that it was dark, I could not be seen. As I drank the second beer and smoked my third-to-last cigarette, I listened to:
Cub- My Chinchilla
BoontDusties-Rye Whiskey
Sam Cooke-Change is Gonna Come
Sarah Silverman- You're Gonna Die Soon
Sebadoh- Think(let tomorow be)
All of these you can get off Limewire, if you're so inclined.

I started on my way home, and ran into the park where my work had had it's annual picnic last year (Dandy Warhols- We Used to be Friends). The only swings in that playground were the ones for babies. Lame. Then I let gravity pull me as I ran down the hill towards 3rd Ave, where I live (Tilly and the Wall- Ice Storm, Big Gust, and You). I was smoking my second to last cig when I saw a bundle of wire hanging off a stop sign. I wanted a picture of it and reached for my phone. It was not in my pocket. It was not in ANY of my pockets. I knew I had to retrace my steps.

The most likely place it was was the slope I had run down, towards 3rd avenue. I went back, thinking I looked crazy, all buzzed and scanning the ground as I walked. Fortune was in my corner tonight, however, as I saw the soft glow of the Virgin Mobile robot screen-saver against the grass. My phone had opened as it fell out of my pocket and illuminated the ground so that I could retrieve it.
I then went home, smoking my last cigarette, thinking that adventures like these (I had one even better the night before) only happen when I'm by myself. When I'm alone I can convince myslef to go down that path when the destination is unknown to me. If I'm with my friends, I jsut follow them. That's how I found the damn park in the first place. I was TRYING to get lost the night before, but ended up geting spit out on the street I live on. Cest La Vie.


Typing is hard....

I want to puke...

More on yesterday, because you totally care.

I went to the Ballard library, knowing that they had my copy of Blackhole waiting for me. To my surprise they had TWO of the DVDs I had been waiting for, Justice League Unlimited: Season One and Crazed Fruit. I'm halfway done with Blackhole and the Justice League cartoons, both of which I will be reviewing favorably. JLU has an episode with Jonah Hex, for crying out loud!

I also got a steak (not from the library) and made my own marinade. I soaked it overnight and ate it today. It was divine. My marinade was a hodge-podge of stuff: garlic, BBQ sauce, worchestire sauce, Tuong Ot Sriracha sauce, soy sauce, uh...hoisin sauce. I think that's it. I also made mashed potatoes using Yukon golds and a tip from a customer at work...leeks. Yummy.

Also, while I was filling out all those forms last night and watching Heroes, I did some drawing:

A lady from some 50's cheescake magazine

Partial cover of Crazed Fruit dvd

A big lug

Life is like a Role-Playing Game

So let's say you're playing some fantasy RPG. The wizard wants you to get the Orb of Bohemia for him. But Kaldritch the Dwarf God protects it, and the only way to get by him is to tickle him with the Elator's Feather, which must be plucked from the Hawk of Nothingness. Seeing as how the Hawk of Nothingness will devour your soul, you must first sate him with the innards of three creatures... A Drakkardian Hare, an Ogre of Fair Mane, and the Mockingbird of Ennui...all of which are trapped in crystals spread across the land. Suddenly that orb hardly seems worth the effort and you just want to tell the wizard, "Get your own damn orb," drink some mead and do it with, well, whatever you want to do it with.

This is kind of how I see life and why I always get discouraged and don't finish my goals. Yesterday, I tried to get my WA driver's licence (It's been almost 2 years, still got my Cali). That's exactly how it went down. I didn't get it. I don't want to type out the whole ordeal, but if you ever talk to me and you are curious, just ask. I'll be glad to bitch about it in person. Although I may make an entire post about what went wrong with my eyes at the counter. I'll just say that there's no way I'm going back without my social security card, AND birth certificate, neither of which I am in possession of.

Despite that, yesterday was not a total loss. Some good stuff happened, and I filed my tax return by myself for the first time ever. I now know better than to choose the "step-by-step" option when doing it online. It made me want to ensure I never get any income other than my paycheck. At first that seemed like another epic quest. I had lost my W-2..had to find it. I KNEW it was in my room somewhere, so, no biggie, I found it. Then I needed the routing number for my checking account to deposit my return. See, I opened the checking account in 2003 and swiftly lost the checks, never ordering new ones. Ergo, I have no idea what the number is. There was a Washing Mutual next door to the DMV, so I went in and asked. At first, the teller couldn't find me in the computer. "What now?!" I wondered, but she found me and gave me the number. When I got home and tried it, it was invalid. I'm really surprised that I kept going at this point, but I did, and emailed the bank. They sent me the proper number...the bank teller forgot to write the last digit.

I also nearly completed a FAFSA application yesterday. I'm planning on going back to school in the Fall. This is EXACTLY one of those RPG situations. I know I'm going to have to do a lot, and in order to do those things, I have to go back and do more things...like get transcripts from old schools, for instance. And that's just to get enrolled! I just hope I'm up to that task. Filling out the FAFSA had a lot of those things, where I had to look at my tax information, cross-referencing my W-2, my online tax return, and an image of the 1040ez form I got online. What the hell, I didnt have anything better to do than drink and watch 'Heroes'.

OMG, Vice Academy!

Yes, that's me, actually looking excited.

I just got The Vice Academy Collection Vol.2 in the mail today. It contains Vice 4-6. I used to watch these movies on USA's Up All Night when I was growing up. They are most definitely my favorite movies ever. I've owned all of them in some form or another, but this is the first time these three are on DVD. I can FINALLY watch part 5, where they battle a virtual reality hooker, without edits or Rhonda Shear commercials! There is one thing I'll miss, though...the phone sex ads...

!Pick up the phone!

Some Stuff

An effect of not drinking
No, I didn't try to quit drinking, I just thought I'd give it a rest. I didn't drink for two days and the strangest effect there was was that I was noticing what color things were. That may sound a little strange and maybe it's because when I had this realization I was walking outside on my day off versus my usual nighttime treks and hurried huffs to work, but I noticed the colors of all the buildings on my block, the plants, even the mold on a fence.
I got really plastered yesterday and this morning I could still see the colors, I just had to think about them for my brain to notice them.

Bummer
My gentleman friend is going out of town for a couple of weekends in a row. First, to get passed around like a dirty magazine when he stays in the barracks at this retreat for the Men's Choir. Then off to San Francisco to get grinded on by a bunch of ecstasy-munching, methed-out club kids. Sound harsh? Have you BEEN to San Francisco?
I don't say these things because I don't trust my man, I say them because he delights in telling me that's what he's going to do while he's gone. As with my best friend, brother, coworkers, and others, he has discovered that me being upset is an endless source of amusement.
Still, although I'll probably get to see him in between trips, I will miss him dearly while he's gone. Yeah, I'm a sissy-man, so sue me. And I know a guy who might be able to get me some xanax to cope with his absence.

Viaduct
What the hell, I'll throw something in here.
The viaduct seemed like a big issue here in Seattle as of late and I thought, since I plan on making Seattle my adoptive home (maybe I should get my Washington ID already), I should look into it so I know what's going on around me. My first order of buisness was to find out what a viaduct was.
I got the basic info on the debate. The viaduct is not structurally sound. Either tear it down and build a new one, or tear it down and build a tunnel. Either way, traffic in that area, which is bad enough already, is going to be fucked up for a long time, and I'm sure there are several other ways that we would feel the effects of it. To me, it sounded like a lose-lose situation. Apparently, voters felt the same way. Since I'm no ace reporter, I'll let you use the links to fill in the blanks, if you're interested, or if you don't already know.

Passions Pissed part 3: Gay Chad

This story line is actually one of the lesser offenses, in fact it’s not a problem at all, but I just wanted to write about it.

As soon as Chad and Whitney discovered that they weren’t brother and sister, Chad was revealed to be having an affair. I mean, like a week later. It really put me off that after insisting for YEARS that they could be together somehow, Chad goes and gets a mistress as soon as he is able. I thought that they should have let the couple baste in their nuptial bliss for a little while before having more drama thrown at them. There was some major trauma suffered by Whitney when she thought she had been impregnated by her brother, so much that she joined a convent and began whipping herself. While it is the nature of a soap opera to keep its characters in constant misery, the misfortune of a cheating husband would have been more effective if the relationship was allowed to solidify. But, seeing as how the show doesn’t have much longer to go, I suppose it’s for the best after all.

When it was revealed that Chad was having an affair, his lover was never shown on screen. I never considered it to be a homosexual relationship until much later when they showed just the body of the person in heavily layered clothing and gloves, from the neck down of course. That’s when I suspected it was a dude, as well as which dude on the show it was. Because I work while the show is on, and have been otherwise occupied on my days off (my man, my drinks, my comics), it wasn’t until my rather slow mind realized that I could watch the episodes online that I saw the relationship between Chad and Vincent in full swing.

What I like about this story and these characters is that no one is holding back. The characters don’t hint at things, they discuss everything matter-of-factly even if they are having the love vs. sex argument all the time. And the show has not shied away from showing them in the throws of passion, which Vincent has, of course, videotaped. While nothing on this show is ever realistic, this is still one of the best gay story lines on a soap opera I’ve seen. I do have a question, though…
Why are all the gay people on Passions black?
Next: The Death of Beth-Everybody loves crazy

I promise to write about something else, soon. Probably something about the viaduct.

Passions Pissed part 2: Miguel/Kay/Fox

When Miguel came back to town, I KNEW this was going to happen. Before he left, Miguel never gave Kay, who was madly in love with him from day one, any reason to think he wanted anyone other than Charity. But as soon as he comes back he's all over Kay. I thought that would be my biggest problem with the storyline. Turns out my biggest problem is that it's SO BORING!
Miguel spends all his time telling Kay that she's in love with him. She spends all her time telling him she's not. Fox spends all his time trying to get rid of Miguel in lame, drawn-out ways. He's currently getting chemotherapy for a fake illness. That's actually a pretty cool outcome, but it was at the price of sitting through Passions characteristic running-in-circles plot lines.
They should have brought Charity back. Oh, they did, but it was a lookalike hired by Fox,and I don't even know what ended up happening with her. She disappeared along with the return of Grace Bennet, who also had powers, i think. Charity needs to do it with Miguel and come into her full magical powers that she doesn't even know she has. People watched the show for all magic and witches and stuff, they have spent too long away from those roots.
For a short while it seemed as though Kay might become an apprentice or something to Tabitha, becoming an evil witch to counter Charity's good powers. That, sadly, never happened. I may be straying from my original point about that love triangle, but that's because it just didn't keep my interest.
Next: Chad's a homo. Great, but...

Passions Pissed part 1

It's true, it's true. Passions, a show that I have watched since it first aired in the summer of 1999, has been cancelled. I was there before Ethan and Theresa even met, and the wacky/stalker circumstances that led to their meeting. I saw Tabitha crate a living doll that she would use to destroy the Bennett Family. I watched when Alistair Crane was a Dr. Claw-like disembodied hand. I saw a house sucked into hell, a girl with untapped superpowers be replaced by a succubus for nearly six months, four actresses play Kay, three play Alistair, and two play Gwen. Needless to say, while I kinda hate Passions (I guess that's called a guilty pleasure, although I'm not guilty about it), I am very sad that it's going. I'm mostly sad because it didn't have to happen. Well, maybe. I don't know if better writing could have saved viewers, but there is no doubt that the stories and dialogue over the past few years has been fairly atrocious.
It's late, so I can't do this all now, but what I'm going to do is explain what is wrong with the current storylines. What athourity am I to do such a thing? Why, I'm an american with the internet.
Next: Kay/Miguel/Fox...The least energetic love triangle ever.

I bitched a lot today

To see how my day turned out, go here.

When I'm 72

I was understandably upset when I read about this yesterday, the story of Andrew Anthos, a 72-year-old man who was beaten with a pipe on his way home from the library. The thing that makes this stand out from other hate crimes, as much as that is possible, is the man's age.
As much as I would like to think that when I'm 72 I'll be in a wheelchair, drunk the entire time I'm awake, on all kinds of meds, and constantly grabbing the asses of all the nurses that will be assisting me in my considerably large post-retirement home, I know that will not be the case.
Odds are, I will be living in an apartment. I will be traveling to the library often, as I do now. I will be taking the bus. And odds are I'll be alone. I'm not sure how this will affect me in the long run. It probably won't. But if it does, I hope it is in a way that spurs me into action and prepares me for anything, but does not consume me with fear and continue to add to my defensive wall that I've been building for years.
More realistically, when I'm 72, there won't be libraries, there won't be buses, and I'll be dead.

That was quick

I'm kind of over it. I'm taking all my trash out, I realized how hungry I am, I haven't taken my vitamins for like three days and after being rubbed by another man for an hour or so, my boyfriend still called me. And I decided to have a beer.

ugh

Last night I made myself dinner. I only had two beers and two cigarettes. I got my laundry together to start this morning. After an adequate seven hours of sleep, I got up and started laundry.

I still feel like shit. The mere thought of going to work today is making me think of the remaining four beers already. Still, as hard as it is to believe, I'm not sure I'd feel much better if I didn't have to work.

Because I copy everyone

I screwed up on one question. Jeremy actually got a 60. I fixed the test, but his results didn't change.

Create your own Friend Quiz here

Arting

Last night I spent a lot of time drawing a small, four-panel comic strip about a stupid aspect of my stupid job. My immersion in this activity caused both people I was IMing with to question my presence and/or consciousness. It made me feel good to get lost in something like that again. It's been a while.
Here it is:

I get pretty upset evertime I want to scan something. Since my scanner broke I have to take digital pictures of everything and none of my cameras are of any quality.
I never fully finished my last art project. I made the "technophobe" picture for Jeremy, but never took a picture of it. other than that I haven't really worked on anything since the last post about it. Harumph.